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The Great Toothpaste Debate: Getting Curious about Conflict with Others
Drop the Defense! Bring your curious cat.
When we bring curiosity into our relationships, we can drop the defensive anticipation of whatever concerns the other may have and just allow them to express. Then we get to discover who they are today, now, and open the door for the vulnerability of evolving beings living inside these super cool meat sacks. So much interpersonal conflict arises from our anticipation of what others have going on and defending ourselves from it. While what many people actually want is to be heard rather than go to court over differences in preferences on the toothpaste cap. Bringing curiosity may require us to let go of some absolutes like, “Toothpaste caps should always be replaced or the toothpaste dries out.” And get curious about what other strategies someone is using. Maybe they feel like saving the three seconds is more important than toothpaste you add more water to anyway. We won’t even get into whether to roll it from the bottom or not.
The point is, everyone is choosing strategies, and when we get curious we can learn what those are and grow alignment and connection. So, ask yourself, what might happen if I bring curiosity to this conflict? What is going on for someone else? Already there? Level up with: What OTHER stories can we create about what is happening?
The Great Toothpaste Debate: Getting Curious about Conflict with Others
Drop the Defense! Bring your curious cat.
When we bring curiosity into our relationships, we can drop the defensive anticipation of whatever concerns the other may have and just allow them to express. Then we get to discover who they are today, now, and open the door for the vulnerability of evolving beings living inside these super cool meat sacks. So much interpersonal conflict arises from our anticipation of what others have going on and defending ourselves from it. While what many people actually want is to be heard rather than go to court over differences in preferences on the toothpaste cap. Bringing curiosity may require us to let go of some absolutes like, “Toothpaste caps should always be replaced or the toothpaste dries out.” And get curious about what other strategies someone is using. Maybe they feel like saving the three seconds is more important than toothpaste you add more water to anyway. We won’t even get into whether to roll it from the bottom or not.
The point is, everyone is choosing strategies, and when we get curious we can learn what those are and grow alignment and connection. So, ask yourself, what might happen if I bring curiosity to this conflict? What is going on for someone else? Already there? Level up with: What OTHER stories can we create about what is happening?